Eighty-Nine days.
Days that my 94-year old father was isolated in his assisted living apartment due to COVID-19 restrictions.
We planned to drive 900 miles in late June to see Dad, but he called me and explained, “You should cancel your trip. You won’t be allowed to visit me, except by phone through my window.”
God loves you! Such a simple statement is hard to grasp. How could the all-knowing, all-powerful God of the universe care about you and me? It is a great mystery. He not only cares about us, He loves us more than anyone else could. I’m pretty sure you won’t believe that just because I said it, so let me show you in God’s love letter--the Bible.
My husband’s new hobby is gun collecting. He is fascinated by old guns as well as the new ones. He watches shows to learn more. One show highlights the history of weaponry. It is interesting to see how weapons evolved over time. What was a cutting edge sword or gun one day is soon eclipsed by a more advanced weapon. Generally, those with superior weapons have an advantage in warfare.
2020--what a year! Who could have predicted Americans would be wearing masks to enter stores or that toilet paper would be a valuable commodity? I didn’t think I would see in my lifetime churches not meeting together physically. Many companies require payment electronically rather than cash, due to a coin shortage. We’ve been introduced to terms such as COVID, pandemic, Zoom, and social distancing.
Lord, I don’t want to go back there, but I’ll do it if you will help me, I prayed in my car. Our Sunday morning class had been invited to join a burgeoning ministry at the local emergency shelter. Once a week, several ladies from the class brought activities and small gifts for the girls at the shelter. Some of the staff and girls were engaging while others looked at us with suspicion.
I am the queen of unfinished projects. I started painting the rooms in my house a couple of months ago. Then life happened, and I haven’t gotten back to it. A chair sits in the corner I’ve been hoping to recover. I removed the old fabric and bought new fabric. I ran into a couple of problems. I am trying to decide how best to rectify the issues. So the chair sits unfinished, not far from the paint cans and brushes.
I rented a cabin on Lake Catherine in Arkansas for a week to spend time with the Lord and work through a challenging time in life. I searched for a study to guide my time with Him. So, one evening, I stood in between the shelves of LifeWay, praying for the Lord to show me which book to pick.
Once, I was sharing something with a friend. She stopped what she was doing, turned toward me, and gave me her full attention. It was a very busy time for her, but she still stopped everything. It struck me how this made me feel; valued, loved, and my words were important to her. It was a slight gesture that weighed tons in my soul.
We are to have compassion in our relationships, but what about that person who continually causes strife? The one that drives us to the feet of Jesus and to seek counseling?
We all have people in our lives who either grate on our nerves or treat us disrespectfully. I don’t know about you, but I am guilty of sometimes reacting with the same attitude.
Today, I write from a place of raw emotion. How is it sometimes the people closest to you wound you the most? If God created us for relationships, why are they so hard? At times, friendships prove challenging. Sometimes, family trumps the charts in difficulty.
As I started writing this week, I mentioned that I wanted to wait to tell my story. I wanted to wait until I could write the ending. I wanted the story to have the ending that I believe was coming, the ending I was hoping for. I trust that God is going to do great things in the life of my daughter. I trust that He is working all things out. But again I am faced with the truth that the story that I would write for her may not be His story.
The fall progressed. I had begun weaving her future story in my mind as we waited for the spring track and field season. She was going to have the comeback of the year. The stuff you see in movies. We were ready and waiting to see this play out.
My daughter jumped in. She was ready to be on a collegiate track and field team. God granted me grace once again, but this time it was to drop my baby girl off at college. Y’all when I tell you that God is good, I am meaning it RIGHT HERE.
After surgery, the next step was healing. Physical therapy. Doctor’s appointments. Knee braces and crutches. No driving for a senior in high school. She was patient in the process. She followed the doctor’s advice with rest and therapy.
God teaches us through life circumstances, and He weaves his truth, grace, and peace throughout. I want to share what He has done and is doing in my life. It’s my testimony. Writing these words has been difficult. And I have been waiting for the Lord to complete the story before I wrote about it. But I feel that the Lord wants me to write even though the story doesn’t necessarily have an ending.
Have you ever been in a tight spot…a place of restriction and confinement? Perhaps circumstances have narrowed your world. Maybe the decisions ahead seem bridled and limited. Could it be that your heart is bound up in despair and hopelessness?
I love the story of Isaiah 6. The prophet tells us of his magnificent vision: ”I saw the Lord, seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple” (Isaiah 6:1). And it gets even more glorious as he tells of six-winged seraphs calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty” (Isaiah 6:3). The doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple filled with smoke. Isn’t that awesome?
I was up in the wee hours last night. Now that my babies are teenagers, my mid-night awakenings are my own fault and not their hunger or restlessness. I walked to the back of the house where uncovered windows face the inky backyard, and I was amazed at how just a tiny bit of ambient light chases the darkness away. Regardless of how deep and long and wide the darkness, just a speck of light can reveal things hidden.
“Why do you love God?, the bitter woman spewed at my mother.
“I love Him because I know Him,” she answered quietly.
